Our Birth Story
Joseph Cline McNair
This was a very sweet and precious labor and birth. It was truly a labor and birth of love - a purebirth. If I had been in a hospital I would have another c-section - without a doubt. My labor broke almost every "rule" there is in modern obstetrics, yet I still had a home birth after two cesareans. The simple truth is that our bodies are designed to conceive, carry, birth and breastfeed our children with ease and joy. Here is our story:
I have had two cesareans. I knew this baby, my third, would have to be born at home if I was to have a VBAC. I found my midwife before I became pregnant and chose her with much caution and care. I became pregnant when my husband came home from an 11-month deployment to Bosnia. I found out about this little miracle when I was vacationing in Isle of Palms, SC. What a joy!!!
I had a lot of fear to work through in my pregnancy and was always worried about one thing or another. I used prayer, positive affirmations and visualizing what I wanted as a way to deal with these fears. I also learned to listen to my inner voice and concentrate on this. It was never wrong! What a great learning experience this pregnancy was.
I exercised and ate extremely well through my pregnancy and rested a lot and also read a lot about birth and labor. Not hospital labor and birth, but homebirth and labor. I talked to several ladies who had homebirths. We also took a 12-week series of Bradley® classes and practiced relaxation and visualizing the birth everyday. I also thanked God everyday for the healthy baby and great birth I knew we would have.
This pregnancy went much fast than I wanted. Before I knew it, July was upon us. I went into labor one week before my due date on a Tuesday at lunchtime. I had taken the girls to the park and felt contractions as I walked, but didn't think anything of it. I had been experiencing periods of regular contractions on and off for days. We came home and went about our daily routine. I remember calling Brian at work and telling him about the contractions, but that I didn't think it was real labor. I also remember him standing at the sink washing dishes that night telling me he didn't think this was the real thing.
Contractions continued to be regular, but very mild. I lost my mucous plug around 8:00 that evening while Brian was reading to the girls. They slept in my bed that night and I labored all night in the tub and leaning over my birth ball on all fours. I listened to Gregorian chants on CD while I was in the tub and had candles lit. I read a bit between contractions - a book called "Househusband". I just tried to rest and stay calm. That was the hardest part for me - staying calm. Pat and Johnny came around lunch and got the girls. I packed there stuff and cried. I was in the bathtub and they came and said "bye" and I cried some more. I also remember talking to my friend on the phone on Wednesday morning and crying a lot. I had a lot of emotional stuff to work through with this labor. I don't remember it being that painful, except transition, just a lot of work to stay calm and relaxed.
I drank a lot of gatorade, water and herbal tea. I ate some granola bars and yogurt raisins to help keep my energy up. It felt very natural and normal to labor at home like this. I felt like I needed a lot of privacy to follow my instincts and listen to my body. I just wanted dark and quiet and privacy. We kept in touch with Beth, our midwife, by phone but didn't ask her to come until I was in transition. By the time she got there, I was pushing. I wanted to do this with just Brian and me. I also baked bread on Tuesday night while I was laboring. I used the image of a rose opening in my mind and the mantra "trust, breathe, relax" to help go through the contractions.
I spent most of the labor on my hands and knees - this felt best to me. The baby was posterior and that might have been why. Transition was very hard. Brian said it was three hours, but I don't remember. I remember being totally out of control and wanting it to stop NOW and being willing to do anything to make that happen. I told Brian to take me to the hospital, to drown me, shoot me - anything to make this stop! He was so good and calm and simply looked at me and held me and said "NO - you are doing this". I love him so much for that!! I was wild - running around the house and throwing stuff and thrashing in the water. I counted to 30 and back with Brian, but it got to a point where NOTHING helped. I just had to go through it and that was the way I did it.
Brian filled our big birth pool and I got in. Yes, men really do boil water at birth! Brian had all out pots going on the stove to help keep the water warm. We've laughed a lot about that! I remember having to poop and pee, but couldn't. I screamed my head off through contractions and totally lost my voice for a few days after the birth. I was screaming "No, no, no" and then changed to "Yes, baby, Yes". This seemed to help the energy go in the right direction. Brian asked me if I was pushing, but I didn't know if I was. I felt inside me and felt something hard, but didn't know what it was. Our midwife came about 45 minutes before he was born. She checked me and said the baby's head was right there. I told her she was lying. I really did not believe it was the baby's head. I thought I was about 5 cm or something like that. She checked the baby's heart-tones, and I could feel the baby moving a whole bunch throughout my labor. He was posterior and I feel he was trying to turn. I was on all fours and they asked me to turn over in the tub and I did. His head was coming out a little at a time and going back. Beth said she could see some dark hair. Brian said "am I still catching" and got in the tub. We were all in the tub at this point.
I felt inside of me and felt his head still inside the water bag. It broke as he was crowning and I felt a release of pressure. I also remember feeling his eyes and nose as he was coming out. That's when I really knew I was having this baby. The cord was wrapped around his shoulder. He was posterior the last part of my pregnancy and I had a feeling that was why because he wouldn't turn no matter how many exercises I did. I think he turned late in transition and I was pushing him out. Amazing! His head was crowning and I felt a lot of pressure and stretching, but nothing like the "ring of fire" I've heard so much about. His head was out and then I felt his shoulders bumping my tailbone several times. I thought Beth was pushing on me and she said "it's your baby". Then his shoulders and came out and I felt so relieved. Brian caught him and put him on my chest.
He breathed right away and pinked up very well. What a perfect, beautiful
baby! It was almost like an out of body experience where time had stopped
completely. I felt like I was watching this from above. I guess it was
the hormones at work! The water was cooling down and so we got on the
couch and the placenta came 10 or 15 minutes later. Brian cut the cord.
My placenta had been low-lying, but I did not bleed at all in labor. The
placenta was folded over in a few places to keep it away from the cervix.
Our bodies are so amazing!
I feel very proud that *we* did this! Brian worked as hard as I did. He was there for me through every contraction and never gave up on me. He was so supportive and loving, both physically and emotionally. He was sore all over for at least a week. He held me up in the tub, rubbed my back and was there for me in every way. Not to mention filling our birth tub and boiling water to keep it warm. He cleaned up after the birth (no small job, believe me) and has teen taking care of everything around here. What a man!
WE DID IT!!! A homebirth after two cesareans.
Some funny things about labor and birth - I got a jury summons the day I was in labor. Brian (who is a Sheriff's officer) was served a subpoena while I was in transition by our local Sheriff Department.
While still in the birth tub, I felt the baby's bottom and said "It's a girl" because all I felt was the baby's butt. But after we were on the couch and wrapping him in warm towels, we saw that it was a boy.
- Wendy McNair
For more information on The Bradley Method®, for an international listing of instructors, or to contact the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth® directly, please contact: The Bradley Method®, Box 5224, Sherman Oaks, CA 91413-5224 - (800) 4-A-BIRTH or (818) 788-6662 - www.bradleybirth.com